Most people were so awestruck by the sheer size and brightness of the moon that night, they couldn’t even hear themselves think over the constant chatter surrounding the majestic “Supermoon.” But, if the hordes of people gathered on every neighborhood street that night could have held their tongues for just a moment, they might have been able to hear something else. Perhaps an agonized snarl, or maybe a distant howl. Because, you see, that “fluke of orbital mechanics” didn’t just make the moon “super”.
Now, hopefully it’s no secret to you that yes - werewolves are real. If you’re just finding this out, I suggest you pay attention…
Late Saturday night Ashley was on the last leg of her three hour trip back from Austin, TX where she‘d just attended a rock show. Just herself and a mix CD to keep her company. Jack’s Mannequin’s “Swim” is playing at a low volume, allowing Ashley to hear any important sounds on the highway, and on this night, the modest volume of her music helps save her life.
Ashley instinctively takes her foot off the accelerator when she hears an eerie sound. Not human, not a vehicle, animal perhaps? Her car coasts down the empty highway, gradually slowing as she scans the landscape in front of her from behind the safety of her windshield. Ashley sees nothing, hears nothing, and assumes she’s probably just becoming weary from the long drive. She presses her foot against the gas pedal and focuses on a vision of her bed - it’s less than an hour away, “I’ll make it” she says to herself.
SSCCRREEEEECCHH!!! A puff of smoke engulfs Ashley’s vehicle as she slams on the brakes, bringing her car to an abrupt and violent halt. “WHAT THE HELL!” she exclaims, while trying to gain her composure. Ashley whips around frantically, checking the view of her surroundings from every angle possible, trying to find whatever it was that so brazenly dashed out across her path. She wants to get out to check if she actually hit whatever it was, but something in her gut tells her not to. Instead she rolls down the driver side window and sticks her head out as far as she can, trying to see if any information can be gathered about what just happened. Ashley can’t seem to find anything out of the ordinary, and the tension slowly leaves her body. She leans her heard on the steering wheel for a second and takes a couple deep breaths. If this was Ashley’s mind playing tricks on her from being too tired, she’s definitely more alert than ever now. Knowing this, she decides to resume her journey home. With her mind alert and window down, what she hears next is unmistakable.
“OWWWWOOOOOOO!!”
Ashley quickly flings her head to the left, and sees the massive beast hurtling toward her. She scrambles to get her window rolled up while simultaneously slamming down on the accelerator with all her might.
“OH SH-” she begins to scream, as the monster collides with the driver’s side of her car, the impact spinning it nearly 180 degrees. Foot still firmly planted against the gas, Ashley soon finds herself blazing down the highway in the wrong direction as a claw tears through the roof of her car as though made of tissue paper. Ashley hit’s the brakes with everything she’s got, launching the wolf off the top of her car. It lands on the pavement in front her, but the car still has a lot of momentum behind it and continues on, over and past the wolf. Ashley turns around to see the beast glaring back her, less than stunned from the impact.
Being no stranger to the occult, Ashley knows the beast she’s facing isn’t your everyday run of the mill wolf. This monster made those wolves look like stuffed chihuahuas. Now, twenty-four year old women don’t generally carry shotguns and boxes of silver bullets with them to concerts. So what do you do when you’re faced with a werewolf on supermoon steroids? The only thing left to do, hope to god you can mangle it to death.
Ashley throws the car in reverse and charges at the werewolf as fast as the vehicle will allow. In a matter of seconds the wolf and the back end of Ashley’s car crash together, yet she keeps on driving, wolf still gripping the trunk. Realizing she can’t drive backwards with a werewolf on her trunk for much longer, Ashley decides she’s only got one option left. Keeping the accelerator pressed to the ground she angles her car toward the highways barricade and smashes into it at nearly 100 MPH, pinning the monster between the now mangled car and concrete siding. The airbags deploy. Ashley awakes in a daze and manages to twist her body around to look behind her. As the fog lifts and Ashley’s eyes clear up, she watches as the upper half of the “super” werewolf slumps over and slides off the demolished back end of her car in a gory mess.
She exhales a massive sigh of relief. Ashley searches for something in her pocket and pulls out a cell phone.
“Triple A. How may I help you?” a voice on the other end says.
Ashley is quiet, then responds. “Yeah… I’m gonna need a tow truck.”
Congratulations Ashley! Not only did you face off against a wolf on roids and win, you did it without those fancy bullets from Underworld. We couldn’t be more proud.
A graphic I found, stating the myths & realities of a "supermoon".
Seems to me “werewolves on lunar steroids” should be listed under “reality” as well.
That was extremely entertaining, besides special effects, you need to write!
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